One of the key concepts I use in my counseling practice is intentionality.
In a series of blog posts, I intend to detail how this practice, which could also be called deliberateness or purposefulness, is able to shape lives and relationships in positive and fulfilling ways that bring joy and life.
For whatever reason, we often believe marriage, child rearing, and even career success just happen organically. We believe in the fairy tale of happily ever after, the sound of little footsteps running joyfully about our homes, and our effortless ascension up the corporate ladder. These are dangerous myths that leave my clients and suspect many people feeling embittered, cheated by life and, at times, struggling mightily to find meaning, much less satisfaction, in the journey.
In reality, even our own happiness takes work and intentionality. We must – consciously or unconsciously – decide to be happy.
It really is a choice. Admittedly, the people who raised us, genetics and life experiences often shape these choices. The world and the other people in it can make it hard for us to purposefully choose to be happy, especially when we are knocked down by unexpected hardship, betrayal, trauma and cruelty.
Let’s face it: when we are children, we never image the difficulties of life. We dream of happy marriages, bouncing healthy babies on our knees and lives filled with material success, spectacular vacations and smooth sailing. Hardships are inevitable, but we are often ill–prepared to deal with this shadow visitor.
That’s where psychotherapy can help dramatically. But the stigma of asking for help or being labeled as weak or mentally ill, keep many people from accessing beneficial therapy. Scientific research demonstrates that talk therapy can help remedy feelings of depression, anxiety, anger and isolation. The psycho-educational aspects of therapy can help people learn healthier ways to communicate, cope, and interact with others, facilitating healing and the restoration of joy to life and relationships.
